Creative
Some Gifts Are Best Not Accepted
One of my daily reads is ProBlogger simply for Darren Rowse’s terrific advice for how to blog better. I’m in the process of implementing many of his tips so be on the lookout for some improvements in the next few weeks.
One of Darren’s posts yesterday caught my attention, not because of his blogging advice, but because of a more powerful reminder about what to do when you get some hate and anger thrown in your direction. Consider this insight that Darren gained from a Buddhist monk:
When someone attacks you with anger and hatred say to them:
“thank you for your ‘gift’ - but I think you can keep it for yourself.â€It is easy to take on the anger of other people and to wear it as a burden of your own but it is usually unhealthy to do so.
Anger and hatred directed at you by another person is their anger and hatred and not yours. While they may wish for you to take it upon yourself - ultimately it’s a ‘gift’ that would be better not received.
I tend to have strong empathic qualities. If a co-worker, customer, or my wife gets angry, I sometimes have difficulty not getting wrapped up in their emotions. But remembering that the emotion is theirs to own and give away and I have a choice as to whether I accept it is a liberating concept.
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Chris, I needed to be reminded that beyond the sting and pain of someone’s anger, I can make the choice to step back and not take it on. I have never heard this idea so well articulated. Now to remember this in the heat of the moment!
Deb, thanks. I agree with you. It’s amazing how powerful such a simple choice can be. Simple, but not easy. I wrote this on the whiteboard in front of my monitor as a reminder when I deal with my own customers and work colleagues. Next time you’re able to recall this advice, let us know how it works for you.